OK, its time to admit it, I'm starting to get excited and nervous about Saturday. In just 3 days I am going to put myself out there and let everyone see what I can do. This is a very new experience for me. I have never competed in sports. I was never on the football or baseball teams. I never did anything like track and field. I never put myself and my abilities on display for others to see and, yes, to judge.
I think that is the one thing that truly scares me the most is that I am allowing others to judge me based upon my performance on these specific tasks alone. I want to believe that most people won't be judging me harshly, that they will give me credit for the attempt (and completion), but there is that little part of my brain that says that may not be entirely true. That is the part I have to conquer and put aside. I know what I am doing and why I am doing it.
I know I am not going to be the fastest by a long shot. I know that its going to be a struggle to finish the entire event at all, let alone in any kind of competitive time. Would I love to be faster and actually be competitive - maybe. I'm just not sure that winning this event would be worth the increased level of training and anxiety and commitment it would take to get there.
For me, now, the triumph will be to finish the event and not quit along the way. If I can do it with out being DFL - so much the better, but even if I am DFL I know that I will have accomplished something that others have not and I will be proud of that accomplishment.